Nicole's Ramblings On Everything!

Vengance

2011-07-11T01:53:00.001-07:00

So, as of late, I have been kind of down for the count. Working a lot, trying to pay bills, having health issues, etc. All of those things sucked, but the beauty of it, it has done nothing but motivate me to come back, with a vengeance, and own! I got a bit of good news the other day, which I will share in the near future, and that sparked something inside me. That, and the fact that I got good ratings at work. I have been very disenchanted with a lot of things lately, including work, which makes me sad because I LOVE being on the radio more than anything in the world. I feel this fire burning inside of me that is going to push me to just explode, in a good sense. Once I get on a roll, it's hard to keep up with me! The fact of the matter is I am a worker. I work hard, I play hard, I love hard, and I live hard. When I want something, I don't stop until I get it. I am in the process of making some serious changes here soon. I just hope it all works out. I have been fortunate to have great people behind me in my life reminding me to rest, take care of myself, pushing me, encouraging me, and reminding me to focus on the good and not the bad! (you know who you are and I love each of you) In that sense, I am fortunate. When it comes down to it, life is not easy. Everyone struggles, hit roadblocks, get depressed, and feel lost along the way. That is when we call upon our loved ones and or faith in ourselves and whatever power we believe in to help us. As defeated as I have felt as of late, I have felt so fortunate. I read a scary statistic today. Some people discredit my heart problems and tell me that I am over dramatic. Here is the cold hard truth. In approximately 94-95% of cases, SCA (sudden cardiac arrest) is fatal leading to sudden cardiac death. I feel like I am pretty lucky in the sense that my problems were caught before I could be part of that statistic. So, in everyday life, I keep that in mind. No matter how bad it can seem, it's always worse for others, so I try to live by that. At this point in my life, I am 30, I am educated, and I have busted my ass to get where I am today. This is not the end of the road for me. This fire will keep burning and I will achieve what I want! The sweet feeling of justification resonates throughout my body the more I accomplish. So watch out because the fire has been lit. It's only up from here.

Disenchanted

2011-06-19T23:20:00.000-07:00

People have often asked me why I am so guarded and maybe even jaded at times, and I wonder this myself. I think it's because I have burned WAY too many times! Now, I am a pretty open, trusting, and sincere person. Everyone gets a shot with me. I don't judge on anyone's past, I don't hold grudges, and I give everyone who wants’ to get to know me a shot. NOW, if you cross me, hurt me, or betray me in anyway.. well.. you blew your shot! That's just kinda how I operate. I don't give second chances anymore because honestly, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Cliché as it is, it's true. Granted, I am very blessed to know some TRULY wonderful and amazing people in this area. People have been truly kind to me, especially during my heart surgery recovery and all my medical bullshit. I have made some lifelong and true friends here that I will always love and cherish. No matter where I land, they will be in my life. HOWEVER, I try really hard not to put to much faith into people. I also try to never fully rely on ANYONE, besides my parents because they have to love me (God bless my mom and dad for all the shit I have put them through.) People think that is a little odd and I am way to guarded, but the reason I do this is because every time I do put faith into people or rely on anyone, I get burned. Now I know that nobody is perfect, and people will let you down sometimes. I know I am definitely NOT perfect and I have let people down as well, which I apologize for and take responsibility for my actions. What I am talking about is a little more extreme. Sometimes, I feel that my kindness is taken advantage of. I also feel like people use me at times. NOW, I try to recognize these things off the bat but sometimes, people are good at hiding their intentions. Take a look at my history of relationships, friends, boyfriends, etc.. I am really disenchanted with this entire area. Yes people back home have been guilty of this as well but I feel like it's more rampant in this area. People are just fucking heartless at times. In my heart, I think it's time to begin a new era! Something's got to change really really soon! I just don't know if I can take much more bullshit. I have reached my limit on bullshit in general. I am sick of working my ass off and struggling still, I am sick of close minded people, and most of all, I am sick of not being appreciated. To those who are good to me, thank you! I truly love you all (you know who you are!) and I am grateful to have you in my life. To those of you who aren't.. Well it's your loss in the end!

Moments

2011-05-07T13:28:00.001-07:00

I got to thinking about a few things today so I felt a blog was necessary. Everyone bitches that I put so much stuff on facebook but personally, I like to capture the “moments” in life. Isn’t that what life is, a series of moments that make you who you are?? I can tell you that I already have a lifetime of memories and very important moment, and I am only 30. I can also tell you there are many moments that I have missed. Living away from home and having multiple jobs and school make it hard to get home all the time. I have missed countless birthday parties, weddings, celebrations, bachelorette parties, showers, and holidays with my family, and so on and so forth. Most of all, I miss out on my nephew who is growing up everyday. I don’t just miss things at home either. I miss plenty here in Springfield due to working Saturday nights for the past year and a half.

For me, someone who VALUES things like this, that’s a hard pill to swallow. I feel like a terrible friend/family member often. I know most people understand that I am just trying to get by and do what I need to do, but I am perpetually missing things, and it just really sucks. In the last 2 years through my medical journey and having some VERY scary moments, I have learned to really appreciate/value my time more often. I am not perfect. I fall into little slumps where I just disappear and work and not call people etc, but for the most part I try my hardest to be places and do things.

Basically, what I am trying to say, treasure the moments you have with those you care about. Life and events happen, and you can’t turn back time. Remember those who love/care for you. So, next time people want to bitch at me about all my mobile uploads, pictures, or what not, ask yourself-Am I capturing my moments too? Am I appreciating the people in my life? I know I will be doing my best to follow that policy.

The Crazy

2011-04-12T02:35:00.000-07:00

As I sit here, with idle time, which is never good, I think to myself about all the crazy that has been my life the past few months. There have been many good times, many disappointments, many stressful situation's, and many blessings. It's funny to me how life can throw you a huge curve ball, but then, everything seem's to be going straight down home plate. I have had quite possibly the hardest 6 months of my 3o years of life. Now mind you, this blog is not to complain, but to reflect. Sometimes I don't think I give myself enough credit for how much bullshit I survive.

The first battle has been my health. For a 30 year old, my heart is really kinda jacked. Not only do I have TWO Cardiologist's at 30, I have had way to many procedures. Getting a defibrillator put in was really quite frightening. Then as time has gone on, I have been struggling on and off with heart problems. It's now down to pumping at 30% again, but I have the right medicine now and also the lats test showed everything else is good to go! So that is a good thing. Having to deal with this was not easy, but I think I did pretty damn good. Since the surgery it's been a number of struggles with medical bills, my car, and just trying to survive. Somehow, I have pulled through each one, and I don't know if I am lucky, or just a tough bitch! Either way, when things are as low and as bad as they can be, I always find a way out.

As many times as shit has been bad, I have had plenty of good times throughout the struggles, which is nice. It brings me to my next thought. The environment change is something that I have noticed as well. I am now living with Bryce, we have a great place, and things seem to be going swimmingly there so far! I feel like a totally different person, which is a good thing! We love to have people over, we do a lot of fun things, and I am just.. happy in general. This also has something to do with the fact that I do have a really great core group of people in my life, which I am lucky to have, and I have met some wonderful people as of late that I am truly glad to have them in my life! I feel like I have expanded my little family! It just amazes me how great people can be! When you need help, people come out of the woodwork to help you. That is something that I can never be grateful enough for! On the contrary, people have also gone from my life and disappointed me. While that is sad, and not easy to deal with at times, sometimes things just change and that is something we have to deal with.

I don't really have a direction with this blog, just simply this. If you feel something, say it. If you want to do something, do it. If you like someone, tell them. If you have a problem with someone, tell them. I have possibly missed out on some potentially awesome things because I was a pansy and didn't speak up, or I didn't want to cause a conflict. I am trying not to do that anymore, as I am a prime example, with a major medical problem that popped up out of nowhere, there is no guarantee in life. I have changed and grown as a person in so many ways in the past few years. I know I am not perfect. When shit gets hard for me, I retreat, I hide, and I stick to myself. I am definitely working on that with the help of some great, and patient people i am fortunate to know. I have been unlucky in love, lucky in my career, and I have worked my ass off to get through school, and to get where I am today. I can't say that i regret anything, but I do know that I will go about things differently in the future. People may judge me, and bitch at/about me, and frankly, I don't give a shit. What it comes down to is this, I am doing the best I can. As I said, I am not perfect, and if you expect perfection, you will be sorely disappointed. What I am is a good hearted, loyal, awesome person that is trying to get by as best as I can! I am using the resources I have, and leaning on the family/friends I am lucky to have, and hopefully, the crazy will float away with time!

Overall, I am pretty happy. I have a great family who has had to deal with all my stupid medical bullshit. As hard as it is for me, It's harder for them. That is something you don't think about when you are processing. I have some great friends who have been there w/me from the early years, my teens, my early 20s, and my newer friends, all equally as important to me, and all a piece of my life. I have my nephew Dominick who I cannot describe how much I love. I also have a new Godson Harrison who is just perfect and I adore. I look forward to watching them both grow up and spoiling the hell out of both of them! I have a really nice place to live with a great roommate, a car, and a job in my FIELD OF CHOICE which is really important! I have a number of good things in my life that I try to keep into perspective when I start heading in that downward spiral. (Yes, I did make a NIN reference.) So I will leave this long ass, all over the place, random blog with this thought. Be happy/grateful for what you have, don't get caught up in the bullshit of life, don't be afraid of change-embrace it, and don't loose sight of yourself and what you want in life! That's all.

WOW..

2011-04-12T01:53:00.000-07:00

So I am contemplating starting this bad boy up again! It's been a VERY VERY long time! haha. I just wrote a big long one.. I will post here and try to keep up with it!

It's been a while.. Holidays and Random fun

2009-01-08T06:11:00.000-08:00

Well, It's been a minute since I have blogged, so I'll just kinda start from the last two weeks of school!

Well, it was nearing the end of the semester, and things were hectic. We had our fist bat of freezing rain. I was on the way to work at 4 am, as usual. I passed Illiopolis and was almost to Niantic and hit some black ice. I spun out multiple times and went into the ditch in the middle of the highway. I then went pretty far in the ditch before my car actually stopped. I freaked out, of course. I was OK for the most part. Really shaken up and upset, and my back hurt, but, OK for the most part. I eventually got my car out and made it to work. I then took it to a shop and found out I had about $1600 worth of damage. So I got a rental car and left my car at the shop and went on my way. May I add that I had a huge presentation due that night too. That was fun.

That weekend was my company Christmas party. Since I was pretty much done with the guy I was dating as of the Monday after my accident, I asked Annie to come with me. I rode out to the party with Storm and her boyfriend Adam. It was at Eagle Creek Resort in Findlay. The place was nice. We all got free hotel rooms so Annie met me there and we checked in and got ready. The party was ALOT of fun!! We drank, ate great food (and boy was the food so good), and danced. Met some new people, bonded with some current people I knew, overall it was a hell of a time. After the party we hung out in the bar for a bit, and bounced between there and the lobby, then went to our room to change into our pj's and went to someones hotel room to hang out for a bit. Yup.. in our pj's lol. We finally crashed around 3 ish? maybe 2ish.. I don't remember. But it was hella fun. Annie was a great choice to bring with! She was a blast!

The next day, I had a remote in Moweaqua. So I went and did that and then headed back to Springfield. I pretty much slept the whole day away when I got home because I was super tired. I then got up and went to get Annie and Aj. They had their company party that night. I got them from some ghetto ass bar and we went out. We met up with Matt, Alex, and some others from school at the Brewhaus. We stole Matt and went to the Curve. Then Neha, and some friends met us there. We then went to steak and shake, I took everyone home, and then I had to work at like 830 am.. i got home at like 430! lol

That Sunday started finals week! I worked all day at the watch store (picked up a second job) and then studied that night. I studied all week long and had to take my finals. By the time Thursday hit I was DEAD tired! Mentally and physically!! But I took all my finals, and was DONE.

That weekend we went out that Friday to Marly's for Matt's last night in town to see The Micah Walk Band. OF COURSE that was a good time!! Then that Saturday night, I worked at the station, and then got Annie we went Xmas shopping, and then got pizza and watched a movie. Girls night in lol. I had to work that Sunday at like 730 am.

That week, was a short week at work. I worked Monday that was it. ?This began my Chicago holiday trip! after work, I met up with Annie in Naperville at her parents house and then we went to THE BEARS GAME!! It was Bears Vs. Packers in a freaking Skybox! It was an amazing experience. The view was great, the food was good, everything about it was so exciting and fun. PLUS it was the Bears. I was so excited. AND I got to see my Bears twice now. Once in St. Louis at a new place I've never been, which was super fun, and now this game! So, the whole night was just.. really fun and exciting. Especially since we blocked a field goal, and won the game! Me and Annie were so excited and crazy for the last bit of the game lol.

The night was a overshadowed by worry. On the way up to Chitown my mom said my dad was in the hospital so of course at the back of my mind I was worried about him. I headed home and talked to my mom for a bit and crashed. The next day i got up and called my dad. It was a huge blizzard out and he told me to stay around the house and drive my mom around. So my mom and I went to run some errands. We then got home and I baked. My dad ended up coming home late that night, which was a relief cuz I was about to skip everything and sit with him in the hospital if he was there over Xmas.

Christmas eve I got up and did some stuff around the house. My mom, aunt Linda, and I went out to lunch, and then came home and wrapped gifts, got ready, etc. my friend Dave from childhood came over and he was going to come with us for Christmas eve. My dad had left already and then my mom, Dave, and I went to get Natalie from work. She had some issues with her .. "boyfriend" so I had to take her home. We finally got to the party. It was fun. Seeing the kids was great as always. They are so cute. My little cousin Joey was my little dinner buddy. He was just precious! A ballbuster, but precious. lol. We did dinner and the gifts, etc. and then headed home. Me and my parents then did our gifts and passed out super late.

Christmas day.. I pretty much slept and read all day. I didn't mean to sleep all day, but my kitty Jack wanted to cuddle so.. we slept for hours lol. I got up ate w/the family, then hung out with Billy. We went to see Twilight and then took a 1 am road trip to Wauconda hitting all the highlights- his mom's house, Dunkin Donuts, and the Pride Of Lake County lol. We had a great time. It was like old times!! We talked alot and just had fun like we always used too.

That Friday after Christmas I went to visit my friend Jeff (aka Jeffy) in Yorkville. He was home for the holiday and we don't see each other much. We basically just hung out, ate, watch tv, played pool, watched the blackhawks game, and then i headed home. I got a Giordano's stuffed pizza and then stayed in that night. Saturday I got up early to go see Anne and my little nephew Casey who is ADORABLE. Then I drove back to Springfield through tornado's, rain, wind, etc. Then straight to work at the mall. After that I watched a movie and crashed. I had to open on Sunday. After work on Sunday, I went to Barnes and Noble. Mike and Neha met up with me. We hung out for a bit, then I grabbed some food with Mike, and went home to crash.

That week was New Years so did the whole New Years Eve party at Derrick's house. New years day, I worked, then had dinner with Shana and had a walmart adventure lol. we had fun. Then that Friday, I worked, headed home, and packed up my stuff for my Chicago trip with Annie.

Annie picked me up and we went to Naperville. Matt met us at her house and we went to eat at Mongolian BBQ in downtown Naperville. It was soooo good and I think they both really liked it!! They then took me over to Metra and I went toward my house. My mom picked me up, we got home, and I pretty much went to bed.

That Saturday, Tracey called me early. We went to Wicker Park to this cool store/spa. She had never had a pedicure before so she had a certificate for one, and then got me one for Xmas. So we got pedicure's together. That was really fun. This place was amazingly awesome. all the products were naturally made and it was so cute and fun. We then went to Penny's noodles for lunch. Yumm. My fav place. then we took the L back toward my house and Teresa picked us up and we went to Caribou. We hung out there for a few hours, then we stopped at my parents house briefly.

Next, Teresa took us back to the blue line and Tracey and I headed downtown for our rockstar night in Wicker Park. We were hungry so we went to the Silver Cloud and got some appetizers to split. On the way to the next bar, we met these 3 guys on the street. They were really funny. one of them was skipping and his friend was like.. "dude are you prancing" i said "no he's frolicking" so we all had a laugh and went our separate ways. We then went to Nick's. Our old hangout! We people watched and had some drinks, then headed to Evil Olive.

At the Evil Olive we were dancing, and this guy was dancing around us.. and it turns out.. IT WAS THE GUYS FROM THE STREET!! Crazy huh? so Tracey and I hung out with the three of them all night, dancing, drinking, etc. We ended up going out w/them after the bar was about to close. they wanted burritos so we went to get a cab and I found 20 bucks on the street. We went to this place, they all got food, and we went to this kid's house around the corner. we all hung out till about 6 am, and then Tra and I headed home. She got off at her stop, and I went to mine and took a cab home. i got home at 7 am! Totally fun night. Typical me and Tracey kinda night! lol.

Sunday I was useless. I slept till 2, had to help my mom with some stuff, and had lunch with Teresa. That was fun at least :) Then my dad took me to Annie's sister's house to meet her and we headed back to Springfield. We stopped at Starbucks and had a pretty fun, but tired ride home. Then the week begins lol...

This past week has been my last week of 5 am's. On Wednesday, we automated Kid Kraddick, so I am basically watching to make sure everything is running OK. Today, same deal. Next Monday I start my new hours/shift. I'll be working 12-7 and on air Afternoons 3-7. I'm SO SUPER DUPER EXCITED because I get to really have fun and be creative and develop myself as a jock! So.. that's exciting.

I don't know what this weekend will bring. I REALLY want to go to Chicago with Shana and Jim on Saturday, but I gotta see how my money situation is. Friday night I know is Alex's bday party so I plan on going to that at least. So we will see how it all goes.

So that was ALOT of stuff. but, alot has happened in the past few weeks lol. I am going to try to blog more often! I look forward to my new schedule. Other than that, Happy New Year to everyone, and talk to you soon ;) xoxoxox

My So Called Crazy Life

2008-11-19T06:18:00.001-08:00

So, I've decided I need to bring my blog back to life. so here I am. It's been nutty. im still on my 5am schedule right now. and i am still in this horrid semester that will never end lol. what in the hell was i thinking signing up for 3 night classes and working at 5 am?? that was totally dumb on my part. it's ok though, the semester is over in a few weeks. Phew!

over break between semesters, in addition to my regular job, i will hopefully be working at Dakota Watch Company part time. It wont be many hours, but since the paper is on break too, it will supplement the money I woulda made there. so that will be good. i really need to make some money and get some money saved up.

speaking of jobs, my new job is awesome. i really like it! everyones cool and patient with me. the vibe is good and being on top 40 is super fun. im learning my way around Decatur pretty well. it's not so bad over here. plus they have some things that Springfield doesnt have so since im over here during the days, i can check that out :) OH and i just got my new station gear in.. my coat is on backorder, but my shirts are here. woo hoo. it's exciting.

ill be going through another change here shortly. January 1 my schedule will change. I will be moving to afternoons here on The Party. so I will work like noon til 7 and do my shift live which will be hella fun. plus my new hours will be bomb. i can sleep in but get home early enough to still do stuff. my new boss is so cool too. she is gonna let me come in 2 hrs early and leave 2 hrs early on Wednesdays so I can take the programming class I really wanna take. so.. that's pretty cool.

i have also worked it out where i can still be full time at school. Im taking two online classes and one regular class so that should be fun. the paper will back back up too when school starts and I have some cool ideas for that too. so im looking forward to this semester ending and starting a new one, but definitley ready for break! :)

other than that, just been hanging out and trying to have fun when I can. My bday is a week from today. 28.. yikes! lol. I'm going to the Bears game this Sunday which im SSSSSOOOOO excited about. Holy crap.. Da Bears! :) I will be working on Thanksgiving, but I'll be going home the next day.

That's about it. I'm sure i'll be back with more later. :)

A little more current.

2008-11-12T06:57:00.000-08:00

Well, as you can see my life has drastically changed. I really do love my new job! It's fun, and everyones really nice, and patient, and helpful! My new schedule will start around the first of the year which will be exciting. As for school next semester ill take two online classes and one night class so it should be hella easier.

This semester has kicked my ass. i dont know what i was thinking taking 3 night classes and working at 5 am. it's very tough, but it's almost over. Other than that.. i played fall softball, went to WIU's homecoming which was fun, and gone out for Halloween. Of course random drunk nights along the way as well.

I'll write more later.. just a quick update. :) toodles.

It's been a HELL of a long time.. Cha Cha Cha Changes!! New Job.. New Outlook!

2008-11-12T06:50:00.000-08:00

***This is a little older but very relevant***

As most of you know last Monday my job was "eliminated" at the station. It was not anything I did, stritctly a business decision I was told. This blindsided me! I had NO IDEA this was coming. i gave my heart and soul to that company. I was heartbroken. I worked hard, and I truly loved my job so why they didnt just demote me to part time and keep me on is beyond me but.. whatever. eventually, they will see it's their loss.

I was pretty calm about it till i got home and talked to my dad. i then freaked out and strated crying (which i never do) but i felt like i had been with someone for years and they cheated on me or something. i felt very betrayed. I had no idea what I was going to do! Derrick Ryan and Sarah went and got food and booze and grilled out and got me drunk and Jen brought me some kleenex and a cookie lol and Annie and Matt brought me some Capt. Morgan and Mitch and Aaron stoped by to see if I was ok. it was cool because they all kept me laughing and stuff. so natrually i got pretty wasted on that Monday night lol. still a litlte worried and not knowing what to do.. i continued my week. Becky and Brandon's wedding was awesome and I saw lots of friends and family over the weekend.

Here's the best part about this story though. I sent my friend a message who used to work with me and within two hours of getting cut.. i had a new job lead! her stations in Decatur were hiring . On Wednesday I went to fill out an application, and then she and I went to comedy night and hung out which was a lot of fun. the next day Thursday I had an interview. This past Monday I got an offer!! YEAH!!

So Monday I start my new job! I'll be an assitant program director and on air of course and I think it's gonna be great :) Everyone seems so nice and the station is top 40 so I'm going to have alot of fun with it. I'll be sharing an office with Storm, which I'm sure will turn very girly very soon lol at least on my side. hopefully Stormy will use me on the rock station too at some point, which would be awesome. I just have a really good vibe about this place and I can't wait to get in and get going! OH and my boss is also a student and understands what its like to be workign full time and going to school and she is cool about school stuff which is AWESOME!

So technically, I've had a two week vacation lol. I have a lot of crap to do this week in getting ready to start my new job. Car maintenance, laundry, re organizing my room, catching up on homework, etc. Im really lucky I got a job within a week of getting let go. Im also very thankful that i did. I'd go crazy if I didnt work. So thanks to everyone who helped me in getting this job and motivating me, etc. I appreciate it. So now.. a new chapter in life opens. wish me luck ;)

Weekend recap and random info!

2008-05-13T04:47:00.000-07:00

So it's Tuesday.. Monday I was to dead to the world to blog.. today.. is even worse! lol. I had a really great and restful weekend.. which was MUCH NEEDED!

Friday night was mellow. Shana and I got some food and then hung out and watched this show called "The Tudors" which I'm now obsessed with. Like thinking about getting showtime cuz it's so good. lol. I passed out on the couch and got up to go to bed and ended up talking online to Jeffy and Josh till 230 am. Uneventful, but fun night.

Saturday morning, my Becky got us NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK tickets!! I'm sooooooo freaking excited! :) This will be fun. later on the day, I tagged along w/Shana and her mom to BWW. We then went to Barnes and Noble and I got me some books. Can't wait to start reading :) I love books. That night, We had Blake's graduation party. His parents rented out the capital suite and the hilton (aka the governor's suite from MIG lol) His family had an open house thing for his family, family friends, and his friends. It was really nice. Shana and I went up there and hung out for a bit. We got him this awesome pic of Wrigley at night for him for graduation. he loved it! I was so happy he liked it. Shana and I then ran down to Bennigans to get dinner which took FOREVER. Randomly we ran into The Micah Walk Band one of my favorites so that was really cool :)

By the time we got our food and ate, we went back up to the room and it was time to go barhopping. our first stop was celtic mist. we had alot of fun just bsing and hanging out. we cheersed about 400 times and for some reason kept yelling "conyo" at every cheers or picture we took lol. we are goofy.

We then moved on to DH Browns.. on the way ran into Mau and Zack so they joined the party. At Browns I got Blake a poster and crossed out birthday and put graduation lol I also met these two really cool guys at the bar and one was celebrating his graduation and one was his friend. totally funny guys and they ended up buying Zack a shot since he graduated too. we then moved on..

Next stop 2 brothers. I almost punched some guy in the face, but I didn't. I wanted to though. we were not there very long but in the course of the bar i managed to take a totally derogatory and innapropriate picture w/Blake, nearly punch a guy, and clean out my nostrils w/the pee smell.

After we went to Floyd's. Of course it was RIDICULOUSLY crowded. the worst ive ever seen. and they had FREAKING DANCING in the room w/a dj. so you know me.. i got my drinks.. which Liz ended up getting for free for us by flirting w/some guy :) lol. Then me and some of the girls went to dance, then Zack joined us. it was fun. I went to the bathroom came out and we were leaving. so that kinda sucked but cuz the dj was awesome but.. oh well.

we then walked to Alamo and it started pouring!! we hung out there and decided what the next stop was. we wanted to go to catch but blakes bro wanted to go to the dirty bird.. so we finally said if you get us a ride we will go. some people parted ways at this point but somehow in some crazy way we all fit in this cab! The dirty bird was it's usual.. nothing new. we had ALOT of fun dancing and drinking. I was all good till those damn shots were broke out haha. we just danced and got crazy. we did all my obnoxious dances we do and blakes cousin and i screamed/singed the words to pussy control and danced like lunatics. lol. overall we just.. got nuts and it was fun.

there was a near fight between blakes cousin and some guy.. but it was resolved. we cabbed it back to the hilton and i ended up crashing on the couch of the suite (which i later found out that someone i am very closed to banged on that couch.. lol creepy). Casey slept on the othe couch and offered to drive me home in the am. So the next day we get up and BS's w/Blakes family for a bit. I didnt get home till about 11 or so on Sunday. it was one of the best, most fun nights ive had in a long time.. and more importantly, i think blake had alot of fun. I hope so at least :)

Sunday Shana and I went to monical's for lunch and then fashion bug and bergners etc. we came home and started watching the Tudors at 3, then moved on to SVU and finally at like 10 stopped watching tv lol. We literally layed on the couch all night and watched tv. it was AWESOME! i have not done that forever! we then decided to prank people w/my bite guard in and according to Christian (my bff) he said i sounded like a tranny hooker w/a lisp! LOL i grind my teeth so i have a bite guard i wear at night.. its hot! lol

The whole weekend was REALLY relaxing and TOTALLY fun. I've been working alot, and stressed out, and kinda depressed and I needed a crazy night like saturday night. it felt good to go out, get wasted, not give a fuck, be obnoxious, dance w/friends and boys, smack some asses, be an idiot, breakout all of my cool dance moves at the dirty bird, u know my usual :) haha.

Monday was low key as well. We went to BWW after Shana got off work. Me, Shana, Jim, McLovin, and Zack. We didn't hear from the McFarlands at all so I assumed they were not coming, so we just went on our own. After we got done eating, Zack told me that hes moving in like 12 days so I'm pretty sad. he's my new friend and it sucks that we finally bonded and started hangin out and he's leaving. so we hung out after bww. i took him to show him the radio station and my office and such, then we just watched TV at my house and hung out bs'd. not that exciting. im kinda useless on weeknights.

which brings me to today. im sooo tired. and i dont feel well at all. but.. oh well. This weekend is going to rock. Friday Free Beer and Hot Wings comes in and we are going to have dinner and drinks w/them. Saturday is the hog party so it will be an all day thing, but that will be fun. After we give away the harley ill hang a bit and then drive to chicago. Sunday.. IM GOING TO THE CUBS GAME! Me and Shana have bleachers seats and my Jeffy got one too off stubhub so he can come with us! im super excited about all of that. I took Monday off so Shana and I will probablly wander around all day before heading back to the patch. so.. thats about it for now i think :) im still kinda out of it. ill be back later im sure.

Wow.. I'm a slacker!!

2008-05-08T05:12:00.000-07:00

It's been FOREVER since I've blogged! I have had ALOT going on the past few weeks/month. So I have not had time to blog really. But now hopefully I can start getting back into it!

Well first off.. School is done for the semester. I did awesome. For not being in school for 6 years.. I think I did awesome! I got mostly A's some B's and one C on my assignments and I think I've got either an A- or B+ in the class. I know it was only one class and may not seem like alot to most people but for me, it was challenging to get my mind back into school, and I have not had to do homework or written a paper in 6 years! so I'm proud of myself for A) Doing it B) Doing well in my class and C) Going back to school in general! :) so that has really consumed alot of my free time. the past few weeks especially! I am taking summer classes starting June 2nd. so.. we will see how it goes. from here on out.. Full Time! yikes. wish me luck :)

Work has been very busy. We have the harley promotion in full swing so it's been pretty busy and i been working weekends alot too to accomodate this promotion and stuff. which is fine. like i mind sitting here being on air right? :) We also had the World's Largest Office Party which was fun. I got to sit w/AJ all day and broadcast and we had SO MUCH FUN! we goofed around and just had fun with it! :) I just love her to death. she is great! :) we took some really funny pics too w/good ol Kirk. OH I got to try Landshark too. AWESOME BEER! I also got pierced at the party! was gonna do my nose but since I'm prolly going to an ENT at some point soon.. i am waiting so I got my 3rd whole in each ear. :) pretty cool though.

Other than that.. BASEBALL! WOW I've already had some wonderful experiences so far this summer for baseball. I'll start with the first game:

I had to go home the weekend of April 4-6th. My dear friend Anne is having a baby, my first nephew Casey to be born in June, and she had a baby shower. So I was planning on going home that weekend. Shana and I ramondly looked online on a Thursday night for Cubs tickets for the future. she clicked on that Saturday and AMAZINGLY totally Lucky we got 8th row 3rd baseilne! I could NOT beleive it. When we walked into Wrigley that day and I saw our seats.. I literally jumped up and down and screeched for about 5 minutes like a little kid :) they started warming up and they were litereally RIGHT THERE in front of us.. I was freaking out. The game turned out to be awesome! We won. which was great! nothing beats the end of a Cubs game when the whole place sings "Go Cubs Go" AND to top it off.. Shana and I got on TV. We got a bunch of calls and texts! It was awesome :) Thank you to Blakey for making me a DVD of the game :)

Next Shana and I went to a White Sox game. I had to go home for my dress ordering for Becky's Wedding (which btw my dress is gonna be awesome!) so I went home friday night. I did the dress thing Sat morning which was fun! I picked up Teresa after and she rode w/me downtown to get Shana from Amtrak. We then went to Stir Crazy and wandered around woodfield a little bit. I got my Geovany Soto shirt <3 love him :) and then headed home to go to the game. We had good seats. It was Sox Vs. Orioles. Now everyone knows im a hardcore Cubs fan, but the Sox game was really fun. I do <3 Joe Crede.. ill admit but then Shana and I saw the HOTTEST baseball player ever.. Nick Markakis from the Orioles. OMG.. hhhooottttt!!! So we drooled over him the whole game. :) After the game there was a great fireworks display and then we headed to Wrigleyville and ate at Leona's! I LOVE that place! ;) Sunday we were gonna go to the game, but we ended up going to rolling stone, and woodfield and running around all day. we had dinner w/my parents and headed home.

Last weekend on Friday was Pat's bday. I went to his bday dinner w/the crew and then ened up seeing Made of Honor.. GERAT MOVIE BTW! :) For that Satudray, my friend Andrew and I had tickets to the Champions club at Busch Stadium for Cubs/Cards. Shana and Jim got standing room only tickets so we all went together! (Turns out Darren, Amanda, Pat, and Ashleigh were going to the game too although we never found each other to have a drink, plus i was not leaving my area where the drinks were free for me) When we got there Jim and Shana's seats got upgraded so we had to part ways for the game :( but we stayed in text contact. :) The Champions club is a really nice schwanky little area w/a nice huge bar, and a food buffet.. drinks and food included!! with great seats. We had the first row in the outside seating and it was awesome! :) I controlled myself I didnt get to drunk or anything. I had a nice sweet buzz going thorough the whole game though.. ok i was kinda drunk who am I kidding ;) Before the game, Soto was warming up right in front of us pretty much and I had my Soto shirt on so I was going nuts. My Fontenot hit a 3 run homer to. AND to top it off my 3 boys all in a row Fontenot at 2nd, Theriot SS, and DeRosa was filling in for Aramis at 3rd. I was sad that Aramis didnt play but glad to see my three fav's in a row :) So overall it was awesome! We had a blast at the game. A little debacle getting home, but other than that it was a great day.

As it stands now.. my next game is May 18th at Wrigley in the bleachers! Me and Shana are going and it turns out my Jeffy will be in town and he got himself a bleacher seat off stubhub for way to much money just to go to the game with us. so ill get to see my team and one of my best friends too :) I'm very excited about that. We are also going to Another game in STL Cubs/Cards, A Brewers game, Cubs/Cards at Wrigley, and Also again in the Bleachers in Sept. in Wrigley. I think that's all of them? lol. So im super duper excited about all of those.

Other than that, I cut my hair on Monday. It's really cute! ;) I got a bunch of weddings coming up this summer/fall too. Ill probablly go to some MIG meetings too to see friends and get out of dodge. I really look forwars to the one in So. IL! So busy busy busy. I think that's all I have to report at this time. Ill be keeping up on my blog more regularly hopefully ;) lol.

Interesting

2008-03-17T05:42:00.000-07:00

This was interesting. Pretty accurate too. Hmmm.

Global Personality Test Results
Stability (50%) medium which suggests you average somewhere in between being calm and resilient and being anxious and reactive.Orderliness (60%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.Extraversion (76%) high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

--I will write a real blog soon. It's been a f-d up few weeks. toodles. :)

It's been a minute!

2008-02-11T05:11:00.001-08:00

Hello Blog World!
It's been a bit since my last blog. I've had alot going on. Mostly negative but I finally feel like im starting to bounce back. I'll start with the negative stuf first.
My mom got into a car wreck on the night of my dad's bday (which i missed felt like a jerk). She is ok, but the car is F'd. The following Thursday, we are expecting a HUGE blizzard with 11 inches of snow. Of course, my dumb ass wipes out. I ended up in the ER with a concussion. I also jacked up my back and neck pretty bad too. It really sucked! That same night, my uncles gf got into a car wreck with the kids in the car. My baby cousin I never met passed away. 9 months old. it's a tragedy. it really truly is! On top of all that, im broke! Having some serious money issues! So that is all the bad going on. Also, my boss is leaving, which sucks cuz I really like her, so I'm kinda sad about that. Needless to say, with all that going on, I've been pretty depressed.
On the upside, I've got MIG coming up in a few weeks. I'm really excited about that. I really like school so far! I'm meeting really cool people along the way so far and I have an interview to write for the school paper on Tuesday. That will be fun. I've had a few fun nights out and in lately which is awesome! OH and Derrick and Ryan are getting a puppy, so I'm really excited for them! Plus ill get to play with a puppy haha. And finally, Shana got seasons 1-6 of Sopranos so we have been watching that like it's going out of style. It really does suck you in.
I'm going home next weekend! I'm pretty happy about that. I'll get to see my parents and my pets which is awesome! Plus, I'm going to get to see some friends, which Is good because I miss everyone! The highlight will be trying on bridesmaid dresses with Becky on Saturday, which is exciting! :)
So that's all.. very brief summary and basic to update everyone. I'll be back to blogging regularly again. later kids.

It's been a while...

2008-01-25T05:05:00.000-08:00

It's been a minute since I have blogged. I've been HELLA busy, but so is life right? well what's been up.

Since my last blog, I started school. Last Thursday was my first day. The class will be pretty reading and writing intensive, but I can handle it.. I think haha. I didn't get much of an impression at that dayte because we actually got out early so Shana and I got some wings and ran into Mike and Matt there. That was cool.

Friday, I worked all day and I got to host the Funny Bone for Alice. I brought Sarah Supafly D. with me. We had alot of fun. Although I had a total diva moment. there was a line and I actually looked at her and said.. "I don't do lines" haha. but overall the comedians were funny and the night was really fun. We then ended up by Derrick and Ryans and I crashed a guys night apparantley. lol. that was fun.

Saturday I worked, ran errands, etc. Ryan and I planned to throw Derrick a surprise bday party, but he ended up ruining it lol. So we all went to dinner and back to Dericks to party. Sarah and I got him a pimp cup and a fake grill. I also got him a cool book for his Bday! At the end of the night, we ended up playing Uno for a few hours. it was SO FUN! overall the night went well and we all had a good time and I hope Derrick had a good bday celebration.

Sunday, I went to see 27 dresses with Amber and Jen. I then went to lunch with Jen and then we wandered Target. I then met Tony and his band at the station to do their interview. That was fun. The interview turned out really well!

Monday, nothing to unusual. Work, then went to BWW and hung out for 50 cent wings. I got to see the usual crew which is always good and I made some new friends which was cool because I need friends at UIS. haha.

Tuesday was a LONG day. I went to work as normal and then after that, soemthing awesome happend. I got to fill in for a talk show on WMAY from noon to three with Bishop. That was SUPER FUN. I really really enjoyed it and was so excited to have the chance to do it. hopefully one day again soon I can fill in. maybe my own show one day. I then took a nap that night, and went to UIS to do homework and then the MIG meeting.

Wednesday, worked like normal and then just napped and then did homework and my paper. fun fun. Thursday, worked and then had class. That was interesting. I got a little bit early at least. I met some new people in class, so that was fun. and now this brings me to today, Friday. THANK GOD. it's funny how a short week turned out to be the longest week ever. Ive been sick all week and feeling like shit. so that does not help. oh well. hopefully soon enough ill feel better!

Well happy Friday. have a great weekend and ill be back im sure sooner rather than later.

I think I could be crazy!

2008-01-17T05:25:00.001-08:00

So Tuesday night, it was like 13degrees outside right. Well OBVIOUSLY that's ice cream weather haha. Shana and I decided to go out and buy ice cream in the freezing cold. WTF? haha. I figured its never to cold for ice cream.. right? hehe. so we bundled up, and took a trek over to shop and save and bought some ice cream. it was a fantastical voyage! Then we got home.. and i totaly bit it! I tripped over Shana's bag of cd's. It hurt, but was pretty funny haha. Then we watched the greatness of SVU.

Last night, I went to the mall. I went there to get a new clinique compact and then Hot Topic sucked me and I ended up buying a few shirts, a really cool skull scarf, and a really cute houndstooth cap! AND a wristband w/a lyric from one of my favorite Ninne Inch Nails songs. From the song Only it said- There is no you, there is only me! I couldn't beleive I saw that.. and i was like.. yoink.. mine! plus im a little cocky.. so suitable for me ;) HAHA.

I then ventured over to UIS to wander campus, put money on my I-Card, and just walk around and find stuff. I ended up seeing a bunch of people I knew, so that was fun. Then I came home and started to watch Ghosthunters. Shana came home, and Ghost Hunters International came on, and of course I fell asleep. I was out by 830 pm last night! and as lame as it was.. it felt good! I was tired. haha.

So here is Thursday! My first day of school! I'm REALLY REALLY excited! I know, I'm a dork! lol. Alot of people don't like UIS and say it's like Adult Day Care, and some love it.. so we will see. I'm going in with an open mind and postivie outlook, and I'm excited haha. I'm sure tommorrow I will post a full report! TTFN, ta tat for now.

What a weekend!

2008-01-15T06:47:00.000-08:00

Did you ever have one of those totally unexpected weekends that ends up to be ridiculously fun? well, that was this past weekend. Great times were had! I'll break it down by night :)

Friday-

The plan was to have dinner with Topaz, Sarah D., Parul, and Rachel and Sarah S. and go to the Micah Walk show. Well, It turned out everyone went but Rachel to the Olive Garden which is very yummy. We had to wait about an hour, so we had fun in the lobby of the Olive Garden. We tried to charge men as they went to the bathroom before poaching chairs. We got a bench and me and Sarah D. sat there and the other girls just gathered around. We talked about SO MANY inappropriate things! It started with the fact that Mitch got me a t-shirt for Xmas that says "Fucking Classy" so we were gonna make that the theme of the night. Then for some reason we started talking about the shocker and throwing it up. So that became another theme of the night. So then I had to explain to Parul what it was. It was hilarious because these old ladies totally heard what we were saying and everything haha. So we get our table and ate a great meal. We took Parul home and headed to the next destination.

Next stop, strike and spare west. We met Derrick and Ryan there for Tessa's bday party. Jen ended up being there too. So, we hung out for a bit, had a few drinks, and goofed off with the boys for a bit. Then we talked about drinking at their house after the Micah Walk show. We then head to Marly's and Micah Walk KICKED ASS as usual! I really love that band.. they are so awesome and talented. They have great musicianship as well! AND they are happy and grateful when you come see them. OH and randomly, Walcher showed up and bought drinks for me and my friends! Which was a nice unexpected surprise.

We then headed back to the house to drink w/the boys. I was seriously hammered! It was quite hilarious! We just hung out, and I got humped several times, and then Topaz and Sarah S. left and me and Sarah D. Stayed. Me, Sarah, and Ryan watched Rob and Big till I passed out. It was a hell of a fun night! ;)

Saturday-

I had to work at the Women's Expo in the morning, so Sarah's brother gave us a ride home after a stop at Starbucks, which was yummy. I got ready and headed to the convention center. I worked for a few hours, and then got to walk around. I had a great time there! I got a massage, and then I went to some salon's booth. I got my eyebrows done by threading which was awesome, I got a paraffin dip for my hands, AND they did my hair and showed me how to do this one thing I couldn't' figure out how to do. So that was fun and Awesome! :) Next stop was the Cardinal Fitness booth. I planned on joining there on Wednesday when I got paid, but you could sign up for absolutely free if you signed up there, so I did. YEAH. so.. awesome afternoon. I then headed to the station.

That night, I was planning on going to watch movies over by Derricks all night. I was tired, and didn't want to drink and had NO MONEY. Well, he never called so Sarah D. came over. WE didn't want to spend ANY money, or drink or anything, so we kinda decided to wing it and see where the night goes. We went and met the other Sarah at Celtic Mist. We hung out there for a bit but we got bored and restless. The bartender said there was an Elvis convention at the Hilton so Sarah had the genius Idea to get pictures w/the Elvis's throwing up the shocker. So we went over there and we got the 3 phases of Elvis.. throwing up the shocker in pictures w/us. haha. It was HILARIOUS! Sarah was laughing so hard she almost peed. I almost fell over cuz I was laughing hysterically. One of them hit on us and invited us back to do karaoke w/all the Elvis people. So, we thought about that.

Our next stop was Mojo's for a metal show. A bunch of bands I play were playing and invited me, so we went. Sarah was a little apprehensive, but I think she had fun. We ended up meeting up with Dustin and Emily and sat w/them at a table in the back. I saw TONS of people I knew and it was pretty fun. I felt a tad rockstar-tastic.. not gonna lie ;) We took a bunch of obnoxious pics and had a lot of fun.

Next stop was McDonalds. We were both hella hungry so we got happy meals and ate them in the car before regrouping w/the Celtic Mist crew. (we got cool toys too) So we met up w/Topaz, Tim, Sarah S., Rachel, and Sue. Everyone minus Sarah S. went over to the Hilton and watched the Karaoke go down. H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!!! OMG.. to funny. Lot's of crashers too. good times. The highlight was all the young hot Elvis's singing baby got back. haha. after that we left cuz nothing could top that! I had one of the most fun nights ever with no booze and spent no money! :) I Rule! I then had to take my friend to Chatham cuz he and his gf were drunk and didn't' have a ride. So.. then I passed out!

Sunday, I worked at the mall, got off early, and had lunch w/my friend Devin who I adore! then worked, and came home and passed out. it was an AWESOME fun weekend! :)

Monday, I worked, went to the chiropractor, and found out I'm REALLY fucked up. I'm a bit sore, and in a bit of pain, but it's necessary. Then, I went w/Shana to UIS to get her books and she showed me around and we found my classroom. Then we went to BW's and had 50 cent wings. Good times.

So here I am. and there's a recap. It's amazing how much fun you can have when you don't plan anything :) till next time.

Lazy Wednesday

2008-01-10T06:52:00.000-08:00

My day was pretty decent on Wednesday. I got to go out w/the hummer and bring lunch to a business. They were really cool and THEY gave ME a shirt. That's never happend haha. it was pretty cool. did some stuff at work, actually stayed a little late to get things done and a jump start for the weekend, and it's a good thing I did. I have a friend who was serving in Iraq and while he was over there, occasionaly we'd be able to chat online and stuff, as much as was allowed of course considering he was in a war zone and all. But I did try to keep in touch with him and stuff and make sure he was safe. Well, I knew that he'd be coming home on the 8th to Springfield. Im in my office and the receptionist comes back and says "there are some boys here for you, one's in a uniform" im thinking.. who the F would be visiting me at work, low and behold it was my friend! So I got a surprise visit from him. That was really cool and exciting!

I got home from work, and lazed around and ended up going to dinner with Jim and Shana to Chili's. Now when I lived back home, I couldn't go ANYWHERE w/out seeing people I knew. There were times I've even ran into friends in airports in FL and MO. It's ridiculous. Well it's starting to get like that here too! haha. I saw my friend Kelly working at Chili's which was cool! I have not seen her forever! then we went to barnes and noble. I LOVE it there even though I feel like a trader to my job. I then saw my friend/coworker Abby. haha. Jim and Shana shook their heads at me and called me the new Walcher. To funny! I guess im just popular haha.

After that, watched some Ghosthunters and scared the shit out of myself before passing the F out! Good night. I don't know why I feel compelled to blog, but it's here.. so im gonna use it. hope your all having a great week and enjoying my ridiculous blog :) toodles.

I'll start w/my STL Trip!

2008-01-09T14:07:00.001-08:00

What better way to start my blog with an account of my trip to St. Louis. On Sunday, it was REALLY nice out so since Shana was starting her new job, and we both start school next week, we decided to get outta dodge for a day. Since it was going to be in the 70's in St. Louis and it's only an hour-ish away, we went there.

We picked up Jim and stopped at the dollar store and got some dollar sunglasses and headed on our way. Our first stop was the "Casino Queen" (although Kennealy calls it something else) to park our car. We then treck over to the Metro Link and hop on. First stop the landing to eat at the Old Spaghetti Factory.. MMMMM! It was ridiculously good.

After that we went to the park w/the Arch in it. Ive never been to the arch, so I was pretty excited. We took a bunch of goofy pictures and acted all touristy. it was pretty fun. there was a HOT HOT HOT HOT park ranger there too. We tried to get a pic w/him but he said he has a wife and if pics of him end up on the net, he may NOT have one anymore. fair enough I guess. we then took some random goofy pics and just enjoyed the fact that it was 72 degrees outside and we were taking that all in.

Next stop was Busch Stadium. We literally got off the metro link, flicked off the stadium, and waited for the next train. HAHAHA. only Cub fans right? we took some silly pics there too and goofed off and boarded the next train.

We then went to Union Station. Of course.. I saw Starbucks and bee-lined it in for some coffee. I was begining to get a little tired so a pick me up was due. we shopped around a little. The body shop is the devil.. sucking me in there. we then went to the flag store and I bought and Italian Flag for my room along with a Cubs Blvd. Sign w/the Cubs logo on it. I love buying Cubs gear in STL. we then walked around a bit more and headed back to the metro link.

I was finally able to snap a photo of the sign that said "Concealed Weaopons Prohibited On These Premesis".. WTF!!!??!?!?!? They dont even have that shit on the L, which St. Louis is more ghetto then Chicago.. the L is alot bigger and probablly more dangerous in some areas. It was hilarious to us! so we documented it. Then, we saw the CUTEST bunny ever down by the tracks and wanted to take some pics and pics of the metro link station and just stupid shit. Some old hag who works there yelled at us, and ruined our fun. Only F-ing St. Louis right? oh well, we then rode back to the casino queen, got our car, and headed out.

We stopped for gas and Kennealy called. We ended up having dinner w/him at Ruby Tuesdays. I had a burger in a resturant which I NEVER do. it was yummy. it was good to bs w/Kennealy too. he's a good kid and I barely get to see him. so that was fun. we laughed, made fun of each other, told stories, and then headed on our way.

By the time we got back to Springfield, we were all exhausted. It was a really fun, and well needed day! I felt totally relaxed and ready to start the week on Monday and just.. so happy that we did that. We chronicled everything w/pics. I posted them in my mypsace page www.myspace.com/nicolecal26 if you want to check them out. They will be on my facebook too evnetually.

We had fun, acted silly, enjoyed the weather, walked around, spent to much money, and had a blast. I can't wait to get outta dodge again! Shana and I do crazy shit like that all the time.. so I'm sure it will happen again. Also.. we still wanna do the Fu*#ed up town tour this summer too.

Well, that's my first blog. Till next time. Later bitches! ;)

Welcome to my new blog!

2008-01-09T06:01:00.000-08:00

So I've decided to start a new blogger account! I used to have one when I worked at WRRG ( http://wrrg.blogspot.com/ ) and it was fun. I have not used that one since.. well like 03 or 04? It's really old. I blog on myspace too, but I thought this would be my sole and #1 blog! I usually have alot to say, so, this is a good outlet for me! :)